the year of the rabbit.
"No telling who'll laugh louder—the kids or the grown-ups—when his egg pops open and a baby chick starts singing along. But one thing's for certain. This boppin' bunny will be the life of your party."
Let me help clarify what is certain.
#1)Every full grown adult that comes to the cash register at Hallmark pushes the button and the bunny and chick sings "Rockin' Robin" together.
#2)Every child that has seen this dynamic duo is completely afraid.
#3)The ratio of number of times I have heard this song to the number of times I have had to come up with some fake response like "isn't that so cute" or "I love when the chick sings" or "isn't that a great deal with the purchase of three cards?" is 1:1.
#4)The next time someone comes in two minutes before closing time, stays and shops for fifteen minutes after closing time, and than presses the button to make the bunny rock out while I ring up the sale...I am going to rip the chick from the comfort of his egg and throw it at the adult that has no business purchasing a singing stuffed animal anyway. Is that rude?
Let me help clarify what is certain.
#1)Every full grown adult that comes to the cash register at Hallmark pushes the button and the bunny and chick sings "Rockin' Robin" together.
#2)Every child that has seen this dynamic duo is completely afraid.
#3)The ratio of number of times I have heard this song to the number of times I have had to come up with some fake response like "isn't that so cute" or "I love when the chick sings" or "isn't that a great deal with the purchase of three cards?" is 1:1.
#4)The next time someone comes in two minutes before closing time, stays and shops for fifteen minutes after closing time, and than presses the button to make the bunny rock out while I ring up the sale...I am going to rip the chick from the comfort of his egg and throw it at the adult that has no business purchasing a singing stuffed animal anyway. Is that rude?
posted by drivel at 5:58 PM
9 Comments:
sounds like a little country mouse is getting sick of the city. wait, does olathe count as the city?
Oh my.... I thought you were overreacting until I listened to the audio. Half way through the song I literally wanted to throw a temper tantrum and start breaking things. I don't know how I would react if I had to listen to it again.
I'm so sorry for you.
It's so weird ... I work at a church, yet even I was tempted to gun down everyone in the building while listening to that butchering of a classic piece of Americana. Why does "The Machine" continue to turn holidays, several of which originally had life-transforming meaning, into drawn out, over-marketed, color-saturated, literally sugar-coated nightmares that drive store clerks insane, make children more bratty and obese, and cause adults to just want to get a permit to conceal and carry?
p.s. - Sarah, you should put the bunny in a pot of boiling water that will greet the store manager and patrons early the next morning, a la Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction."
i could hardly contain myself reading this. THANK YOU for sharing, sare. i would pay to watch these interactions.
love the bunny, love the bird, love you giving the bird to them both.
what ive found that works better for people who dont like to leave...figure out where THEY work and then do it to them! its glorious to see thier face! >:D
i kind of liked it.......(silence).....(pause).....(more silence)
statisticians wonder why the american suicide rate is climbing.
i hate to admit but this is something my mom would buy and wonder why we didn't like it.
My lifelong question regarding commercial Easter: Why is the rabbit laying eggs and\or raising chickens? Will mama rabbit be able to teach baby chick to scratch and swallow stones properly? I doubt it. Mammals should not be given parental responsibility over birds. It's unnatural and tragic. Who came up with this madness?
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