Memories
I recently had the joy of returning to my old stomping grounds to attend my ten year high school reunion. I am going to go ahead and put it in my top five most awkward social settings of the last ten years. I got second out of three in the "icebreaker" game under "most available bachelorette". I proudly got first in "most likely to look the most different from high school". I think you'll agree.
Here are some insider's tips for anyone considering attending theirs. These are all from actual events. Any resemblance to real people or events is not only intentional, it is unavoidable.
Expect for divorcees' to be hooking up with other divorcees'.
Expect that the people you remember the least about will remember the most about you.
Expect that if you begin the conversation with "where do you live now" it most likely will end with you a high pitched repetition of what you just heard..."oh, you live across the street from the high school? That's really neat."
Don't expect to remember the names of everyone in your class...even if it only had 32 people including yourself.
Don't start a conversation with "I heard your father died...question mark". It can only go down hill.
Expect to be caught in the corner talking to the people you never connected with while still in high school.
Expect to simultaneously meet and be forced to hug at least one very creepy spouse of an old high school friend.
Expect at least one stomach staple surgery patient with before and after pictures.
My final recommendation is don't go. I loved my high school experience but I think it was for that time only. Reliving it through slideshows in a crappy banquet hall with your buddies ten years later will make your inner monologue go something as follows... "How did I ever justify that haircut in the first place?" "How did I see my reflection in the mirror at JC Penney's and still go with "white dress with doiley collar" for senior pictures?" "And why in the I'm sorry hell did I decide to come back and put myself through the torture of reliving all this!?" This is the long version. Clark's astute observation is most appropriate for the abridged. Everyone is the same but bigger.
Here are some insider's tips for anyone considering attending theirs. These are all from actual events. Any resemblance to real people or events is not only intentional, it is unavoidable.
Expect for divorcees' to be hooking up with other divorcees'.
Expect that the people you remember the least about will remember the most about you.
Expect that if you begin the conversation with "where do you live now" it most likely will end with you a high pitched repetition of what you just heard..."oh, you live across the street from the high school? That's really neat."
Don't expect to remember the names of everyone in your class...even if it only had 32 people including yourself.
Don't start a conversation with "I heard your father died...question mark". It can only go down hill.
Expect to be caught in the corner talking to the people you never connected with while still in high school.
Expect to simultaneously meet and be forced to hug at least one very creepy spouse of an old high school friend.
Expect at least one stomach staple surgery patient with before and after pictures.
My final recommendation is don't go. I loved my high school experience but I think it was for that time only. Reliving it through slideshows in a crappy banquet hall with your buddies ten years later will make your inner monologue go something as follows... "How did I ever justify that haircut in the first place?" "How did I see my reflection in the mirror at JC Penney's and still go with "white dress with doiley collar" for senior pictures?" "And why in the I'm sorry hell did I decide to come back and put myself through the torture of reliving all this!?" This is the long version. Clark's astute observation is most appropriate for the abridged. Everyone is the same but bigger.
posted by drivel at 9:48 PM
13 Comments:
ah mushroom. how i love you. one thing that hasnt changed? lipstick color. check.
'most available bachelorette', just after the recent divorcee? that's cute. i LOVE the mushroom paired with the doiley dress. classic.
'twould have been hilarious if we'd met in high school, sare. :)
i'm not sure what's more sad - the fact that i guarantee my 10 year reunion will be strikingly similar to yours, or that i have to find out my roommate's stories by reading her blog (tear)....
why didn't i read this before my reunion last night.....ughh...
Great...mine is August 5th...I'm actually sort of looking forward to it. Is that weird?
Mines in October, should I really stay home? Love senior pics! I thought all small towners had pictures taken with their cars or by a tree or something.
Can I just say that I thought this post was awesome? Oh... really? I see. Well, nevermind then.
That is all.
You forgot a couple:
Expect that the people that only moved in their cliques in high school will STILL only move in their cliques at the reunion. Bigger, yes, Clark. More mature? Not so much.
Expect your spouse (if you have one) to be bored to the point of murderous rage.
oh, sar, at least you only had a 'shroom. i had a she-mullet. my 10 year is about a year away, and i'm already plotting my escape. thanks for the uncontrollable giggles. :)
What about "Expect someone who's name you actually do remember to not be able to remember yours and then keep saying, 'No, don't tell me. It's...it's' for the next 10 minutes...in a drunk stupor.
just curious, what do you do now that your favorite salon putty is discontinued. did u find a replacement, i loved that stuff...
so, are you guys done with this blog? i think you need to pray about a parting thought...
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