Wednesday, July 19, 2006


I recently had the joy of returning to my old stomping grounds to attend my ten year high school reunion. I am going to go ahead and put it in my top five most awkward social settings of the last ten years. I got second out of three in the "icebreaker" game under "most available bachelorette". I proudly got first in "most likely to look the most different from high school". I think you'll agree.

Here are some insider's tips for anyone considering attending theirs. These are all from actual events. Any resemblance to real people or events is not only intentional, it is unavoidable.

Expect for divorcees' to be hooking up with other divorcees'.

Expect that the people you remember the least about will remember the most about you.

Expect that if you begin the conversation with "where do you live now" it most likely will end with you a high pitched repetition of what you just heard..."oh, you live across the street from the high school? That's really neat."

Don't expect to remember the names of everyone in your class...even if it only had 32 people including yourself.

Don't start a conversation with "I heard your father died...question mark". It can only go down hill.

Expect to be caught in the corner talking to the people you never connected with while still in high school.

Expect to simultaneously meet and be forced to hug at least one very creepy spouse of an old high school friend.

Expect at least one stomach staple surgery patient with before and after pictures.

My final recommendation is don't go. I loved my high school experience but I think it was for that time only. Reliving it through slideshows in a crappy banquet hall with your buddies ten years later will make your inner monologue go something as follows... "How did I ever justify that haircut in the first place?" "How did I see my reflection in the mirror at JC Penney's and still go with "white dress with doiley collar" for senior pictures?" "And why in the I'm sorry hell did I decide to come back and put myself through the torture of reliving all this!?" This is the long version. Clark's astute observation is most appropriate for the abridged. Everyone is the same but bigger.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Best Bumper Sticker Ever?

Oh, Sweet Lord, yes.

Preach it! Whales and mythical creatures have really been speaking truth to us lately... Mmm Hmmm. We wanna praise you, Lord...and thank you.

Friday, July 07, 2006

The Whale

Occasionally a metaphor comes along that perfectly articulates a relationship. I received this in an email and immediately thought of Jeff. Thank you, Jeff, for all the hard work you put into our blog and our relationship. I hope this inspires all of you as much as it did us.

If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines.

She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the FarraloneIslands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help.

Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her ...

A very dangerous proposition.

One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.
When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.

She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them,

Pushed gently around-she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.

The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love,
Be so blessed and fortunate ...

To be surrounded by people
Who will help you get untangled
From the things that are binding you.
And, may you always know the joy
Of giving and receiving gratitude.

I pass this on to you, my friend, in the same spirit