lardawg's quirks*
brace yourself.
1) I stockpile my favorite hair care product (Salon Selectives "Molding Putty") and live in fear that it may be discontinued or something. Just this morning, I cracked open a new package and noticed there was only one left in the closet. Was late for work because I drove straight to Price Chopper and bought three more.
2) When a hair dryer is available (mostly in hotels), I enjoy drying…well… "down there". Man, it feels great. Don’t knock it unless you've tried.
3) I am addicted to the MTV show for 14-18 year olds called "Laguna Beach:The Real Orange County". It's so real. I could literally watch it for hours. I'm in love w/ Kristen, the "party girl". Nevermind that she's 17, she's, like, such a little hottie. My friend Kelly finds this repulsive. Maybe so, but if our love is wrong, I don't want to be right. Perhaps it feeds on my old high school marching band days where I always dreamed of the "popular girl". Times have changed, baby…
4) I eat out every meal.
5) I wipe standing up.
6) Every night in bed, I read, think, pray…and pick my toenails and throw them behind my bed. Sick, I know…but you're not the one that has to clean it up every six months. Hey, these are the A-B-C's of me, baby.
7) From what I hear, my shower/personal hygiene regiment is like no other. For Sarah's sake, I'll spare you the details, but I like to be clean. Reeeal clean.
8) I talk on the phone while in the restroom. I see it as an extremely efficient use of time and a great place to catch up w/ friends when you’re living a busy swinger’s lifestyle like mine.
9) When I get out of the car for the last time at night, I take a minute to set the CD player to my favorite song. That way, I can start the next morning off right! Bet you wish you’d thought of that.
I seem pretty normal to me.
(*edited)
1) I stockpile my favorite hair care product (Salon Selectives "Molding Putty") and live in fear that it may be discontinued or something. Just this morning, I cracked open a new package and noticed there was only one left in the closet. Was late for work because I drove straight to Price Chopper and bought three more.
2) When a hair dryer is available (mostly in hotels), I enjoy drying…well… "down there". Man, it feels great. Don’t knock it unless you've tried.
3) I am addicted to the MTV show for 14-18 year olds called "Laguna Beach:The Real Orange County". It's so real. I could literally watch it for hours. I'm in love w/ Kristen, the "party girl". Nevermind that she's 17, she's, like, such a little hottie. My friend Kelly finds this repulsive. Maybe so, but if our love is wrong, I don't want to be right. Perhaps it feeds on my old high school marching band days where I always dreamed of the "popular girl". Times have changed, baby…
4) I eat out every meal.
5) I wipe standing up.
6) Every night in bed, I read, think, pray…and pick my toenails and throw them behind my bed. Sick, I know…but you're not the one that has to clean it up every six months. Hey, these are the A-B-C's of me, baby.
7) From what I hear, my shower/personal hygiene regiment is like no other. For Sarah's sake, I'll spare you the details, but I like to be clean. Reeeal clean.
8) I talk on the phone while in the restroom. I see it as an extremely efficient use of time and a great place to catch up w/ friends when you’re living a busy swinger’s lifestyle like mine.
9) When I get out of the car for the last time at night, I take a minute to set the CD player to my favorite song. That way, I can start the next morning off right! Bet you wish you’d thought of that.
I seem pretty normal to me.
(*edited)
posted by drivel at 12:45 PM
10 Comments:
that's my dawg. it's weird but strangely irresistible. in college, he had this girl so ga-ga over him that she brought over a new, elaborate cheesecake every week. i wasn't complaining then, and i'm not complaining now.
oh, and the rake. the sniff. the feel. the "dude, you have to come see this." and, my personal favorite, the "if you love me you'll pop this."
Jeffer, I love you just the way you are. You should feel honored that this is the first time I have ever left a comment on someones blog. I was convicted by jmac calling Sarah a lurker. I love what you guys have done so far!
jeff -- somehow it wasn't a surprise to me that all the idiosyncrasies you listed had to do with personal hygiene-type...or personal parts. yikes.
After reading these quirks I am quite sure that Jeff is the #1 candidate for the the next "Bachelor". I mean what girl would not find all of these quirks so endearing?
Sarah
i wipe standing up.
me too.
what is it with the standing? especially if you are obsessed with cleanliness, isnt this hampering??? i mean arent you closing the castle gates up so to speak? wouldnt a nice lean be more effective?
ps. can i get the unedited list? so curious...
aaah so its more like a hover? we arent talking ramrod straight here, huh? makes much more sense...
Hannah
Maybe you can get Jeff to tell you the "unedited version" while you are trying to eat a hamburger at Backyard Burger. That will make it a much richer experience.
hey dude, can't leave a comment on your latest post, and really really want to.
Post a Comment
<< Home